Move On
by Kiryume
Summary: Sometimes lying to oneself can't be done alone. (Mizakai, implied VKai). Spoilerish.


Kaito hears the footsteps come to a cease beyond the close door and the heavy breath that happens before it opens quite clearly. He's facing the window, or so he thinks from the warmth that the sun rays leave on the closed eyelids and tired face. He's surprised that whoever has walked in is not talking, not a single word. Kaito knows they're in, the soft inhales and exhales contrasting well how heavy the presence is.

What worries him most is that he has no idea who it is. In the past months, Kaito had learned how to distinguish everyone from how they walked, from how their shoes rubbed against any surface, from how much volume he felt they occupied whenever they shared space with him. But this person was different from anything his mind had registered up to that point.

Whoever it is lacks Yuuma's noisiness (even when he tried to be silent), so it can't be him, and Ryouga either - he never went anywhere without his hyperactive companion, and he doubted he had any interest in visiting more often than once every two weeks.

Not a single chance it's Haruto, whoever it is feels tall, not to mention graceful. _Kotori, maybe, or Rio?_ No, both girls were long gone on a trip together and he doubts that the first thing they'd do upon return is come witness the pitiful state Kaito considered himself in. _It isn't him either. I would know if it were. _That thought is pushed away quickly.

The silence in the room is killing him, the two of them breathing at the same time, and the lack of movement coming from his unknown companion making him nervous and _no I can't be afraid, that's just dumb, open your mouth and ask who it is already, Kaito._

And that's what he does, that's what his intention is when his lips part, but whatever words were to come out are muted by another pair of lips crashing onto his in a kiss that feels out of place yet so right at the same time. Kaito knows he should reject them, but he invites them further while the bed creaks under the new weight added to it.

That makes Kaito realize that this person had been in fact moving around the room, so silently even his trained year hadn't picked a sound until it was too late, so late that he had already been pushed down on the bed, and kissed, and touched, and he really doesn't care even if the fact that it won't feel wrong no matter how much he wants it to still lingers at the back of his mind.

In what's left of his integrity, he takes his hand to the hair of his companion and all his muscles relax, because it's long, and soft, and it feels so familiar that there's no way for him to say no. So he goes with it, he goes with that hope and honest affection in the midst of the darkness he's been thrown into. He doesn't want to think anymore and goes with the flow of things, a name he wish he'd long forgotten escaping his throat with each moan.

Once it's over, he's exhausted, and can feel his partner is too, both of them snuggled under the sheets of a hospital (clearly not the most appropriate place for such an activity, but who thinks about such stuff when you're as desperate as Kaito).

Maybe he shouldn't have, but Kaito dares speak some words as silence isn't something pleasant for him when he doesn't actually need it around. "...Why?"

Nothing.

"Pretending you're him won't change anything, you know."

Again, not a single word. _Tch, thinks that if he's silent it will work, that's dumb._ "Hey, talk to me."

What feels like an eternity, heck, maybe two passes before the mouth actually opens and a voice he knows way too well and reminds him the cruel reality slips out. "Mine is not the voice you want to hear, I've learned that the past several times I've come to see you."

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

A snort echoes in the room, and even if it makes absolutely no sense, Kaito shivers. "I thought that this would please you. So I changed the way I walk. Changed the way I breathe. It might sound dumb, but if for a brief moment it stops you from whining, I don't mind pretending to be someone else."

"I don't _whine_."

"Hell you don't."

"Don't be a jerk."

"You should have thought about that possibility before allowing me in your life, you know."

"As if I had a choice." The conversation is over on both sides and Kaito snuggles closer, his tiredness getting the best of him. It's not a very smart idea to fall asleep naked next to another man when a nurse or doctor could come in at any time and check on you - Kaito feels warm and protected though, so it's enough for the moment.

It doesn't take him too long to fall asleep, and for god knew what wicked reason the illusion of somebody else being by his side sets itself again inside his sleepy mind, and it only makes things worse for him, because he still can't forget even if he wants to. The truth was there for him, and no matter how much he tried, there was no way to avoid it.

_The Barians have returned to life as humans again, given another chance to redeem themselves, and all the other dead remained so, waiting in hell for their beloved._

Kaito drifts away with a last thought - not being able to see isn't that bad after all. He can think it's Chris all he wants, and Mizael can have him in his arms as much as he pleases.


End file.
